How a country treats its most vulnerable -- the poor, the elderly, the destitute -- is a good measure of its fundamental strengths and flaws. And the long hot summer of India’s lockdown has exposed everything tragically wrong and yet, also triumphantly right about the country. Where government agencies or systems collapsed, communities, non-governmental and nonprofit organisations, even complete strangers, have stepped up to help those in need or distress and those needing help.
Sowmini T, in her late 60s (she is unsure of her exact age), lives in Narikkuni village of Chelannur block, Kozhikode district, Kerala. Sowmini’s place of work is 40 minutes by bus -- the house of Radha Nair, a retired English professor in Kozhikode city and my mother. Sowmini has been with my family for over 45 years. She cooks, acts as occasional caretaker and general supervisor of all things to do with the house and household.
When the lockdown was announced on March 25, Sowmini, who has a basic phone and lives in a tiny house, was caught unawares and unprepared. Like the rest of the country. Though local groups and community organisations offered cooked food, she did not want it. “I preferred to make kanji (thin rice gruel),” she says.
But things improved. My mother managed to send across Sowmini’s salary (by contacting the latter’s more mobile family members who had passes and could travel). More importantly, Sowmini got vital help from other sources too. “Since I live alone and am single, the (Chelannur) panchayat gives me rations. I also received provisions from political parties. And now I get the monthly ‘kit’ from the government,” she says. The ‘kit’ is the Kerala government’s free aid for ration card holders. It contains about 17 items from dals, spices, condiments, coffee and tea, sugar, salt, cooking oils to rava, atta and more. Neatly packaged in stout cloth bags, the kits have been a lifesaver for 87 lakh families in Kerala. And people like Sowmini.
Strip away surface ‘gloss’
Contrast her experience with that of a senior citizen couple, Sumathi and Ramesh Kiran (*names changed on request) in Bengaluru, the Silicon Valley of India. “We are both 62 and used to lead fairly healthy lives, doing housework etc. by ourselves, no maids. Our health conditions (hypertension, diabetes) were under control. With lockdown, we had to find new ways to do equivalent exercise at home (no gym, no walks),” says Sumathi.
A bigger problem was access to groceries, fruits and vegetables. “We no longer have a vehicle as we felt it was easier to use autos and cab than maintain a car,” explains Sumathi. Car-less, the couple could not do bulk shopping. But online sites were constantly busy, stocks sold out and deliveries cancelled. “So, we had to carry heavy loads or do multiple trips. There were neighbors helping seniors in our complex. But there were many seniors in far worse situations than us. We didn't feel desperate enough to ask for help for non-emergencies,” says Sumathi. But every small thing became an effort for them.
Atma nirbhar and... help from strangers
The Kirans are not alone in this. There are countless such stories across India. According to a 2016 Elderly in India report by the Ministry for Statistics and Programme Implementation, there are 103.9 million Indians above age 60 -- 8.6% of the population. Of this, 73.3 million live in rural areas, like Sowmini. The remaining 30.6 million are urban dwellers, like the Kirans.
When the lockdown was announced, the vast majority had to cope on their own -- with no access to daily essentials, food, medicines etc. Most had to rely on nothing but atma nirbhar (Modi's recent clarion call) and well, the kindness of complete strangers. Where states and state agencies failed, citizen-run initiatives, community-run organisations, senior citizen associations and non-governmental, nonprofit organisations stepped in.
The kindness of strangers
An example is the online community Caremongers India. https://www.facebook.com/groups/caremongersindia/ Founder Mahita Nagaraj who lives in Bengaluru, set up the volunteer-based pan-India group on 17 March. Today, it is 43,953-members strong (and growing). A group admin, Mageshwaran Saba, says they have broad areas of focus -- those most at risk like senior citizens and the elderly, those with disabilities, pregnant women and those with infants. “But we ensure that no call (to our helpline) or post/message (on the Facebook group) goes unattended,” says Magheswaran whose ‘regular’ job is as a freelance consultant with the International Basketball Federation (FIBA).
From queries for medicines, oxygen cylinders (and even blood!) to enquiries about tiffen services in the metros, delivery of essentials, e-passes for travel and desperate requests for generators in Kolkata (after the devastation wrought by Cyclone Amphan) -- Caremongers India volunteers help in any way they can. And there have been some heartwarming encounters too. “One caller urged us to help his 85-year old friend. So, I called the 85-year-old who promptly informed me that he is in fact, 87! He said he was “perfectly fine” and that his ‘youngster’ friend was needlessly worrying. Then, I contacted the original caller. Turned out that he is himself 75. He too assured me that he is doing okay,” recalls Mageshwaran smiling.
We are in this together
While the resilience of the human spirit shines bright, the lockdown has also brought home the fact that together people are stronger. That all seniors need sometimes is reassurance, and even, social engagement. And that is exactly what Nidhi Chawla and Reshmi Chakraborty are doing through Silver Talkies (ST) https://silvertalkies.com/ their online magazine and social engagement platform for the 55+. The Bengaluru-based duo and co-founders say seniors across India now reach out. “The new dynamics of staying at home 24x7 (alone or with family), the burden of work, household chores and the uncertainty of the entire situation is stressing out everyone. In fact, family relationships have deteriorated in some cases.,” they observe.
Sumathi Kiran agrees. “It is impossible to have a normal conversation with anyone without it going down a COVID blackhole - fear, anger, frustration, uncertainty. Staying at home all day is one part, not being able to chat with others because this is all anyone talks about is really even more frustrating,” she stresses. And Dr Ratnavalli Ellajosyula, a consultant neurologist currently in Mysuru, understands just how Sumathi feels. This constant focus on risk and fear has a negative effect, she points out. “I know of families where seniors are constantly being told they are vulnerable and therefore, they should not go out or take the lift, so on. This makes matters worse,” she adds.
Lack of social engagement aggravates the situation. So, Nidhi and Reshmi organise Silver Talkies Live events. These range from webinars with experts --mental health awareness, immunity boosting diets, life after lockdown etc. -- to dance lessons, playback theatre workshops, chair yoga, virtual tea-parties and meet-ups for ST community members. “These help seniors stay positive and happy. Now, many are comfortable using new technologies too. Most actively stay connected over video calls and wait for announcements of our weekly events,” the duo adds.
Two months on…
Today, the Kirans are in a better place as far as online delivery for groceries and essentials is concerned. But they need to get their monthly blood tests done. “We are still hesitating about that. And later, we may have to look at telemedicine reviews,” says Sumathi.
In Sowmini’s case, she wants to get back to work. A chronic asthmatic, she is susceptible to respiratory infections. So, my mother has suggested that she drops in twice a week. “I know I have to be careful and I wear my mask. Wherever I go, they give me sanitiser. It burns my skin,” she adds wryly.
BOX 1: Dr Anjali Chhabria, a Mumbai-based psychiatrist and pyschotherapist, who runs MindTemple Institute (a clinic) and Golden Citizens Trust (a nongovernmental organisation that works with 300-400 seniors) stresses this is the time for people to look out for and learn from each other.
Look out for each other
“One day, I got a call from a senior citizen who was lonely, depressed and crying that she may die and her children living abroad, would not see her again. She had fever and was panicking that she had COVID. After reassuring her, I got another call -- from a doctor staying in a quarantine centre. She too was worried that she had contracted the infection. I had the idea of putting them in touch with each other. I told the senior citizen to check on the doctor thrice a day. They became friends and their needs were met. The senior wanted someone to talk to; the doctor needed someone to look after her, ask how she is doing. Now, we ask our seniors to look after each other, do birthday wishes, etc. We tell them to send messages to health care workers too. It makes a difference.
Small joys!
Involve the seniors in your family, play games even if it is virtual. My parents were upset that I am not able to meet them. I started playing antakshari with my mom and sister, a fun activity. When my mom says, “I miss you”; I respond: “I love you. Close your eyes and I’m with you.” Look for small joys even in emotional situations. Talk about happy times, take out old photographs. Sometimes, parents may have lived through difficult times (and forgotten how they survived). Remind them of that and that, together, you will get through this.
BOX 2:
India and dementia
India has about 4.1- 4.4 million people with dementia (as per various studies including a 2019 report in the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine). For comparison, consider that the population of New Zealand is 5 million! Dementia is an umbrella term for conditions where memory, behaviour, language, thinking skills etc., progressively deteriorate. A majority of those affected are above 60. Caring for a loved one with dementia is challenging, in the best of times. Constant supervision is a must. Full-time nurses/helpers charge anything upwards of Rs 15,000 a month. “Many helpers have gone back to their hometowns. No one knows when and if they will come back. Of the few operational care homes in the country, some have shut down, leaving families in the lurch,” say those working in the sector. Getting someone with dementia to wear a mask is hard because he or she does not understand why they need to do so. For that matter, keeping a loved one from wandering is even tougher -- wandering and going missing is a behavioural aspect of dementia progression. For such families, the pandemic has made things infinitely worse.
Also check: https://dementiacarenotes.in/dementia-home-care-covid19-lockdown-india/
Dementia Care Notes, a resource site run and maintained by Swapna Kishore, who advocates for more action on dementia care.
A version of this piece was published in The Hindu BusinessLine BLink magazine on June 5, 2020
Comments