deviousways

(A couple of days ago I read a story in the UK-based Daily Mail about a UK woman suffering from post-partum depression (PPD) who killed  her two young babies. She underwent treatment and is now back home with the husband who supported her through the tragedy. That got me thinking--how clued in are we about PPD? Do we even wonder why some new moms feel depressed or suicidal? Do we try to understand what makes a new mom harbour thoughts about harming herself or her baby? I think this is a subject all of us need to be aware about.) This is an article I wrote for The Hindu in 2013   M lives in Hyderabad. After her delivery, she underwent the traditional 40-day confinement. Being restricted to a room with just the baby affected her. She began to feel suicidal; thoughts of harming both her baby and herself filled her head.  S is from Delhi. After she had her baby, she experienced severe crying bouts. Doctors at a premier mental health institute diagnosed her as h...

"Shalu, open the door. For god's sake, let me see you. Please, can we talk?” She can hear the desperation in Ajith's voice. In the background, a child is crying loudly, their son. He is scared something is wrong with amma and appa. His hands, feet and neck are red and slightly swollen. The mark of an angry hand is clearly visible. Her hand.   She cannot open the door. cannot move, the pain inside her so full to bursting that only a greater pain can make it bearable. This hand I used to hit him, she mumbles to herself, this hand, I wish I could cut it off, if only...it will break, crumble into nothingness. Just like me, just like me.... She stops, body bruised and aching. Throwing herself against the wall again and again, to dull the pain inside, has left her knuckles grazed, but the bones are not broken. No, not so easy to break, she thinks. Not so easy to erase what I have done to the one being who is solely dependent on me. I am a monster. Outside the locked door...