Still

-
I cannot be still.

Not in the motionless sense,
Rather, I talk of stillness of mind,
And calmness of heart.
So important, that contentment.
So difficult to achieve.
At least for me.

Instead, my mind scurries.
Hither and thither.
Rooting out old fears,
Revelling in stale thoughts.
Leaving me uneasy, disturbed
And totally, spent.

What is it about the night
And the stillness of the dark
That makes me so?
Is it that the blackness
Forms a shroud around me?
Then, unfinished tasks, unresolved issues
Become insistent companions.

I cannot silence these unheard voices.
I cannot make my freewheeling thoughts
Settle.
But perhaps, I can learn, slowly
And painfully,
To live with my rights and my wrongs.
My good and my bad.

And then, maybe just maybe,
I can learn to still my unquiet self.




Popular posts from this blog

Not Just Skin Deep

-
Our obsession with fairness goes beyond desiring a brighter visage or a whiter vagina. Can a social media campaign change this 'colour' bias?
A not-so-new Shah Rukh Khan advertisement for Emami Fair and Handsome fairness cream for men is making ripples throughout social media. Not in terms of sales, though. A fledgling community on Facebook called “Dark is Beautiful” is petitioning on change.org to have the advert removed. The community claims the advertisement is discriminatory and racist, that Shah Rukh Khan (or SRK as he is better known) should not use his star appeal to endorse colour bias.
The Dark is Beautiful campaign also has actor/activist Nandita Das as the face of several messages that state: “Stay Unfair, Stay Beautiful'. The message has slowly been picked up by various media. Ms Das has been interviewed as condemning this fixation with fairness that has permeated across India. She said, “...in the course of my social work, I once visited a remote village in Ori…
Read more

"I heard voices...they told me to hide under the bed, to run, run away." A young mom talks about post partum depression

-
Post Partum Depression—My Story Anjana Sharma (name changed on request)
"My pregnancy was unplanned. I got married just out of college. Eight months later, 
as I was all set to enroll for an MBA,  I found out I was going to be a mother. I was in 
denial. “This cannot be happening,” was my initial reaction. Also, I didn't have the 
classic symptoms of pregnancy—nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to smells, etc. In fact, 
my pregnancy was easy, it was just difficult emotionally. But by the second trimester, I 
slowly came to accept my pregnancy and by the third, I was looking forward to my baby. 
I went for Lamaze and ante-natal classes. I intensely wanted a natural birth.
A traumatic delivery My labour started the right way—the baby's head descended, but my labour was 
extremely protracted. After eight hours, there was no sign of my baby coming out. 
I was the perfect patient—calm, not screaming, doing my breathing, so on. And the
 hospital (one of those mom-and baby specialty places) was p…
Read more

Shame, sin and a strap

-
I am walking in the neighbourhood park.
Not for pleasure, but exercise.
I am striding along, trying not to puff and pant.
Thinking of those damn 10,000-steps-a-day that I never seem to do.
Thinking that I must get my cardio rate up, get those endorphins going.
Walking and trying to avoid the others on the path.
The burqa-clad women around me talk noisily,
Some are there to walk seriously, but most are not.
They sit there, like beady-eyed beetles, watching, looking, and to my mind, judging.
So do the men.
No, let me rephrase that.
Many people in the park are there simply because they have nothing else to do.
Or perhaps this is where they see life pass them by.
Where they see what ifs and what might have beens.
Where they see happiness that could have been theirs.
Where they see lives shaped by both circumstance and choice.

In the park, the ones who are not walking desultorily, chat and hang around.
The serious runners impatiently overtake the rest of  us slower mortals.
Suddenly, a vo…
Read more